Pigs in Suits

Classy masculinity, our thoughts provoke infinity.

Category: Vegan

 I have been r…

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I have been rather confrontational with vegetarians the passed two days, and it all finally comes to fruition today. I believe that there is a way for all vegetarians to happily enjoy meat again right around the corner, and don’t stop reading right after I say it because you have some preconceived notion that it’s bad. The answer to all of your dietary problems is cloned meat. I do not mean cloning an animal, and then killing that animal for it’s meat. I mean ‘test tube meat’, meat grown directly in a lab, no animal involved whatsoever. The passed few days I’ve been gathering reasons that people become vegetarians and cloned meat does not involve any of the practices that made you stop eating meat.

First I’ll explain briefly how they clone the meat. There were some skeptics that told me they were worried about all the chemicals that go in to cloning the meat, but this is a non-issue. There are no harmful chemicals used at all. As we all should know, cells can replicate themselves. When you get a cut, it heals itself. Cloning meat (in the vaguest terms) is like this, you inset the DNA you want to replicate into a cell, and the cell replicates the DNA for you without any chemicals. This specific kind of selected cloning is already being done in some Scandinavian countries, and in the next 10-15 years, it will be ready for commercial use.

Let’s move on to the decision you will have to make when cloned meat does become commercially produced. Will you eat meat then? Allow me to attempt to convince you because many people seem to think this is a bad idea, but I think it could revolutionize the way we eat and vastly reduce the harm done to animals. First are the animals themselves, we will no longer need to kill animals to obtain meat. I think most vegetarians and people in general would agree that this is a good thing. Animal cruelty was on many people’s list of why they became a vegetarian so strike that aspect out of producing cloned meat.

If you are worried about what is inside your food than you’ll love cloned meat. Since you start with a host DNA and replicate it exactly, each piece of cloned meat would be the highest quality meat. They would only need to clone the best of the best, and this would be a great thing for the consumer. Also there would be radically less bacteria in the meat since it is all manufactured in a lab, simply don’t put any into it. The cloned meat would be healthy, only lean meat, with no bacteria, sounds good to me.

PETA has already offered 1 million dollars to any scientist who can successfully produce cloned meat rapidly, there are already samples but not enough to be a viable option just yet. Winston Churchill once said that it’s a shame we have to grow a whole chicken just for the breast and one day science will fix this problem. The problem is very close to being fixed. The reason it is important now is they are beginning to vote in some places on whether or not so sell cloned meat, and because people are afraid of it for some reason, it does not pass. I would like to know whether or not you would eat cloned meat as a vegetarian/vegan, and if not, why not? No animals will be harmed, it will be safer than our food now, it will be healthier than our food now, and you could finally eat meat without a guilty conscious!

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Vegetarian Men

This next vegetarian topic is going to sound ridiculous at first and make me sound like a bigot, but I challenge you to hear my reasoning before passing judgment. This issue has to do specifically with men who are vegetarians. Men that are vegetarians are less manly than men who are not. The ridicule they get for it is justified in my opinion. I see this as a purely biological and anthropological situation. In the early days of man, the men hunted and the women gathered, this is common knowledge. During the winter, when the plants die and no gathering takes place, the men had to hunt so that their entire family could survive. Turning your back on such a major area of your own development deserves a bit of ridicule, but I still respect their decision.

I firmly believe that there is a better way for men to go about becoming vegetarians. Purposefully limiting yourself from anything in the world (even something you don’t want to do) is a negative action in my opinion. You could just as easily stop eating meat…and that’s it! If someone asks you if you are a vegetarian, say ‘No.’ Just don’t eat meat. It doesn’t have to be a public thing. Going out of your way to fit into a group is no better than the popular girls in high school and it deserves a bit of razzing.

This would all be moot if the act of becoming a vegetarian was not a choice, but it is. I would never make fun of somebody for being gay because that isn’t a choice, but judging somebody based on their actions is the fairest way to do it and we do it routinely everyday. If you make the choice to become a vegetarian and publicize it, you are acting like more of a girl than you would be if you continued to eat meat. Almost 70% of vegetarians are female, and 100% of male vegetarians are more feminine than men with normal, no limit diets. Tomorrow I will explain a possible wonder elixir that would end the need to classify yourself as a vegetarian at all.

Questions for a Vegetarian

I’ve had a problem with vegetarians and vegans my entire life. Not because of the decisions they make, but because of the reasons for those decisions and their apparent indifference to animals that are not cute. I hate animal cruelty as much as any vegetarian, but the bridge between that fact and not eating meat is a very unstable one. Will not eating meat stop animal cruelty? No. Will it at least be recognized and hopefully ended one day because of it? Maybe, but signs point to no. So what exactly is the overall goal when you choose to become a herbivore?

A noble answer is that we are evolved passed having to kill animals for food, we can get food elsewhere without harming animals. Bullshit. We still need meat for a healthy diet, and meat only comes from one place. Even vegetarians have to force themselves to not eat meat because its so delicious and we all know it. We’re genetically predisposed to enjoy meat, since (most of) our vegetarian ancestors would have died out if they didn’t eat meat.

The question I have now is, why are animals the only form of life that gets your pity when killed? Why is a pigs life more special than that of a spider or an ant? And here’s the real question for vegetarians, If life is precious, why is it fine to kill plants for food? Plants try to stay alive just as much as animals. This may sound absurd but I can prove my point in one word. Thorns. Why do plants have thorns?  They have thorns to protect themselves from predators in order to stay alive, and you kill them for food without a second thought.

So it is clear that vegetarians do not care about all life equally, but only ‘cute’ life. We kill for food, and so does every single other animal on the entire planet. Another common argument from vegetarians is that the animals can feel pain, so that’s different than killing other things for food. This has two simple answers, plants can feel pain too, they just cannot scream or express it, but they want to stay alive just as bad as anything else. The second answer is almost comical, if killing animals is bad because they feel pain, then as long as we kill them painlessly (like a shotgun to the head) then killing animals is okay. No vegetarian would agree to this, they disagree with their own logic.

I’ll be doing two more posts on this topic over the next two days, one on why being a vegetarian literally makes you more womanly, and the grand finale on why there will be no more vegetarians in 15 years or so. Follow me to stay tuned and feel free to leave comments to answer some of these questions, I will respond respectfully always, I just want a better understanding on why anyone would be a vegetarian.